How Crank Defines Modern Mortality (4K UHD review)

How Crank Defines Modern Mortality (4K UHD review) 17

Crank is about death. Well, it’s about what someone handles with death when finality is absolute. Don’t bring up the sequel yet, we’ll get to that one in a few months. For now, we’re examining the first last day of Chev’s life. If not for this, then what would have began America’s love affair with Jason Statham?

Jason Statham achieves something special as Chev Chelios. What could’ve been a rather jokey or over serious performance finds a perfect mid balance with Statham’s performance. Chev is a funny guy, who is not above torturing and killing people. But, his attacks achieve a balance between Looney Tunes and Troma Entertainment.

Amy Smart is fun as the ditzy love interest who takes a little too long to understand how close Chev is to death. So, naturally he bangs her in public to help understand the human cardiovascular system. The Asian bystanders seemed to enjoy it, as they are prone to do according to Internet videos. But, if there’s one downside…it’s the villain.

Even when compares to the sequel, who gives a shit about the Latino cartel that poisoned Chev? Where they Latino or Asian? Am I remembering them wrong? I could bother to check my notes, but that should tell you how one-note they were. Nobody really cares to find out their true origins. Why? Well, because you remember Pedro from Napoleon Dynamite and that’s about it.

But, again…how does Crank define modern mortality? Well, because it puts a special lens on futility. Anything can happen at a given moment. What you do next is up to you. Does one sit back and wait for the inevitable or do you go on a rip-roaring campaign of revenge? I know the path I’d take.

What about you? It’s kinda goofy to dwell on Chev Chelios’ murder spree meaning something about the grand journey of life. However, I’m the kind of idiot that tries to find deeper meaning in the Crank movies. Let me know what you think.

The 4K disc is upscaled 2160p. However, the HDR10 and Dolby Atmos track working together produces an impressive sound stage. Two of the special features are in 4K. However, the rest of the material is a mix of ported junk. Still, I’d recommend a purchase to fans.

Crank debuts on 4K UHD on May 21st!


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