MINIONS

MINIONS 1

“Minions” is about 30 minutes of material stretched to feature length. While the film isn’t excessively long, I can’t help but ask why it exists. The music is off, the narration is plodding and I’m not sure if I needed to see the history of the Minions. From the business side, I’m impressed by Universal’s ability to saturate every aspect of Western living with the Minion visage. I can’t remember a time of this much pop culture saturation since Episode I or Batman (1989).

“Despicable Me” grew on me with time and I enjoyed the Minions in small doses. However, I don’t need to see how they grew, evolved and experienced history. It’s nothing but a series of sight gags and a chance to introduce new voices into a paper thin universe. The jokes are uninspired and the cultural lampooning belongs to the worst issue of a Drucker laden Mad Magazine. But, you get Michael Keaton and Allison Janney as the heads of a bank robbing family.

The problem with the narrative is that there’s barely enough material to warrant a feature. Back in the 1970s, Paramount used to release Peanuts movies that ran under 90 minutes. But, that was back before cable and other means of entertainment. If anything, this material could’ve been a Holiday short on NBC. I know that NBC/Universal/Scheinhardt Wig Company still puts them on and this feels like TV material thrown into the mix for the Summer of the Rotating Movie Globe.

Ultimately, I watched my young daughter watch this movie and I studied her expressions. The early stuff in the ocean, the dinosaurs and the basic setup entertained her. But, once they hit Villain Con and the England heist, the point of boredom had been firmly crossed. Oh well, it’s still going to make 200 mil in 7 days.

Release Date: 7/10/15

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