1. Panic
  2. If you’re local, curse the fact that today is Derby and tomorrow is another Holiday.
  3. If she’s into PBS stuff, try out any of these titles on here:
    Downton Abbey Season 6
    The year is 1925. Momentous changes threaten the great house, its owners and its servants, while past scandals continue to loom. Return to the sumptuous setting of Downton Abbey for the sixth and final season to discover what will finally become of the Crawley family, and the servants who work for them, as they face new challenges and begin forging different paths in a rapidly changing world. Secrets and rifts threaten the unity of the family, while those below stairs continue to navigate social changes which put their futures in jeopardy.

    Winner of 12 Emmys®, 3 Golden Globes®, and 3 Screen Actors Guild Awards®, creator Julian Fellowes brings the top PBS drama of all time to its climactic chapter, with the beloved ensemble led by Hugh Bonneville, Michelle Dockery, Elizabeth McGovern, and Maggie Smith, closing the book on a television legend.

    It’s 1783, and Ross Poldark has returned home from the American Revolutionary War to find England in the grip of recession and his beloved Cornwall on its knees. His father is dead, his family’s land and copper mines are in ruins, and his childhood sweetheart is about to marry his first cousin. Feeling betrayed by everything he loves, Ross  must rebuild his life, embarking on a risky business venture, facing new adversaries, and finding love where he least expects it.

    Based on the novels by Winston Graham and set against the dramatic Cornish coastline, this striking saga stars Aidan Turner (The Hobbit) as Ross Poldark, Eleanor Tomlinson (Death Comes to Pemberley) as the fiery Demelza, and includes a special appearance by Robin Ellis, who played the original Ross Poldark in the 1970s.

    Mercy Street
    Alexandria, Virginia, 1862. Mary Phinney, a staunch New England abolitionist, and Emma Green, a naïve Confederate belle, collide at Mansion House, the Green family’s luxury hotel that has been transformed into a Union Army hospital. Ruled under martial law, the border town of Alexandria is now the melting pot of the region, filled with soldiers, civilians, female volunteers, doctors, wounded men from both sides, runaway slaves, prostitutes, speculators, and spies.
  4. If she’s not into PBS, get her something that satisfies that Kate Gosselin haircut she’s rocking.
  5. Try a gift certificate to Ulta. I’m always seeing older women going in there.
  6. You could always pick up Joy on Blu-Ray for her. REVIEW COMING SOON!
  7. Sit down and have her explain the differences in the NCIS shows. Prepared to be riveted.
  8. If you hate your mom, ask how life was during the Depression.
  9. If your mom hates you, she’ll talk about your Birth.
  10. Other than that, just take her out for a meal. Whether it’s Schwarma or Cracker Barrel, it’ll be nice. Do something nice for once, you inconsiderate dolts.
%d bloggers like this: