Bumblebee was better than I expected. I don’t know why I thought it was going to be bad. I enjoy the hell out of Hailee Steinfeld and John Cena. Honestly, it kinda kills me how people aren’t ready to accept John Cena as an action star.
I approve of rebooting the Transformers franchise. Mainly because I don’t give a damn about fighting alien robots. Well, that and the whole series is built upon reboots, revamps and relaunches. One time when I was trapped in an elevator, an over-excited Transformers fan tried to explain what a G1 was to me. I thought it was Gatorade.
Cut to thirty minutes later and I’m sure the Wikipedia treatment he gave me was informative. But, all I remember is hearing ocean waves crashing against my brain. A month later, I was watching Bumblebee in theaters and enjoying myself.
I don’t hate Michael Bay, but I felt he was just shooting footage for an FX company’s demo reel. The potential to hang a throwback story about a girl and her pet alien felt fun. I get that it lifts heavy from the first movie’s structure, while destroying the chronology of the previous films.
I also don’t care. But, you guys should have figured that out by now. While I am pretty geek material friendly, I’m also quite willing to spread both cheeks upon that which I find lesser. For ages, I found Transformers to be a lesser property. After The Last Knight, it seems like most of the world agreed with me.
Outside of toy tie-in opportunities, why bother to bring this franchise back? Well, what if the opportunity arose to tell a familiar but fun story. Familiar in the sense that the average person can enjoy it, rather than someone who converted their piss yellow 1992 Camaro into a robot.
So, what about Bumblebee appealed to you?
Somewhere between the eardrum shattering Dolby Atmos track and the lush realistic colors of the 4K transfer, I realized something. This movie is Short Circuit for people who don’t read so good. If you’re a small child, that’s fantastic. If you’re a single adult live texting about why an enthusiastic six year old is ruining your screening, you might be the problem.
I honestly enjoy how so many studios are willingly thumbing their noses at fanbases in a realistic manner. It’s either meet us half way or get used to Melissa McCarthy being a female insert Utilitarian Fictional Function of the 1980s here. Just be glad that it’s the underrated Hailee Steinfeld getting the opportunity to bond with Bumblebee.
We could have Megan Fox stand-in 2.0 trying to play the caring girlfriend for the 800th time. I’ve seen that movie. Hell, I saw Patrick Dempsey try to play evil in that movie. It didn’t work then and it doesn’t work now. Plus, wouldn’t it make way more sense to have a Hasbro Connected Universe in this time period?
It’s something to think about, but I know you guys won’t think about it…you never do.
