CHRISTOPHER ROBIN REVIEWED
- Snippet: Ewan McGregor stars as Christopher Robin. If you ever wanted to see Disney dig up Milne and root around his pockets for remaining ideas, this is your film. I’m still impressed by the first 10 minutes of the movie. Where did that movie go? Also starring Eeyore the Suicidal Donkey.
- Runtime: 1 hr and 44 mins
- Rating: PG
- Studio: Disney
THE DARKEST MINDS REVIEWED
- Snippet: Young Adults must love fearing the future because this time, the old people are scared of the young ones. When Disney finishes the purchase of FOX, I hope all of these adaptations are frozen next to Walt’s head.
- Runtime: 1 hr and 44 mins (what is it with this runtime?)
- Rating: PG-13
- Studio: 20th Century Fox
THE SPY WHO DUMPED ME REVIEWED
- Snippet: Two best friends unite in the power of sisterhood to get over the guy that dumped Mila Kunis. Kate McKinnon gets to experience onscreen sexual fantasy roleplay with Gillian Anderson. Meanwhile, theater owners are already getting the print ready to ship off to the dollar houses.
- Runtime: 1 hr and 57 mins
- Rating: R
- Studio: Lionsgate
EIGHTH GRADE REVIEWED
- Snippet: Eighth Grade is one of those movies that I hate giving a short review to during the lackluster final summer month. However, I have to speed things along for this to stay timely. Elsie Fisher is amazing and Bo Burnham should only direct movies now. If the film would’ve been shot on shittier stock, it could have passed for a documentary. Amazing work and one of my favorites of 2018.
- Runtime: 1 hr and 33 mins
- Rating: R
- Studio: A24
- Christopher Robin - 80%80%
- The Darkest Minds - 18%18%
- The Spy Who Dumped Me - 45%45%
- Eighth Grade - 95%95%
The Plot Thus Far
Christopher Robin – Ewan McGregor has a mid-life crisis that doesn’t involve Mary Elizabeth Winstead. Also, a stuffed bear brings him closer to Agent Carter.
The Darkest Minds – Imprisoned by an adult world that now fears everyone under 18, a group of teens form a resistance group to fight back and reclaim control of their future.
The Spy Who Dumped Me – Mila Kunis continues to prove that Meg Griffin is her ceiling. Kate McKinnon also stars.
Eighth Grade – It’s like Bo Burnham went from comedy to making me fear kids again.