humor
PORFLE VS. MADONNA
Madonna was driving by my house one day, when suddenly her car had a flat tire. Since her cell phone had just been eaten by a gorilla (true story–Google it), and she didn’t know how to fi...
PORFLE’S DIARY: “CHRISTOPHER WALKEN AND WILLEM DAFOE ARE TRYING TO KILL ME”
I think Christopher Walken and Willem Dafoe are trying to kill me. I have no idea why, or how they ever found out that I even exist. I certainly don’t remember ever doing anything bad to either...
PORFLE PRESENTS: THE SARAH SILVERMAN NON-INTERVIEW
One day it occurred to me that it would be totally cool to interview Sarah Silverman! Not only would the interview be interesting for people to read, but scoring such a journalistic coup would surely...
PORFLE PRESENTS: DOG MAN!!!
So many of the other animals and even insects have been represented by superheroes — Batman, Catwoman, Spiderman, Wolverine, The Tick, etc. — but to my knowledge, there has never been a Do...
PORFLE VS. GENE RODDENBERRY
I remember the time I tried to accuse Gene Roddenberry of stealing the idea for “Star Trek” from me. It wasn’t true, of course, but I saw an opportunity for big money if I could pul...
PORFLE VS. THE GIANT RADIOACTIVE APES
Back when I was a teenager growing up in Howdyville, our resident ape expert was a pleasant old fellow by the name of “Apes” O’Malley. He lived on a beautiful, rustic ape farm about...
PORFLE AND VAN HELSING VERSUS DRACULA
When I was in college, one of the most unusual summer jobs I ever had was as a vampire hunter’s assistant. I didn’t know what to expect when I answered the “HELP WANTED–VAMPIR...
PORFLE MEETS ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER
I was walking through the park one day, enjoying the cool, fragrant breezes and the song of the meadowlark and all that stuff, when suddenly Arnold Schwarzenegger fell out of a tree and landed on a li...
PORFLE’S FILM-FLAM CELEBRITY SHUT-UP
If I had been one of Quentin Tarantino’s celebrated RESERVOIR DOGS, I wouldn’t have been named after a stupid color like Mr. Pink or Mr. Orange. I would have been called “Mr. Shut U...