PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: DEAD MEN TELL NO TALES

PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: DEAD MEN TELL NO TALES REVIEWED

“Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales” seems like it was supposed to be the final Pirates entry. Then, I had a reader tip me off about the after credits scene that I bailed on. I’m sorry, but only Marvel keeps me in my seat through the credits. The film finds Captain Jack Sparrow trying to make right previous botched dealings with Barbossa, his old crew and Salazar. Sparrow bumbles around and allows Johnny Depp to keep making money off nothing. Sound intriguing? This fifth film focuses on Will Turner’s adult son hunting down Jack Sparrow to find the Trident of Poseidon. The Trident allows the holder to undo sea curses. Somehow, this brings back Spanish Davy Jones and Captain Barbossa. A botched setup about a sandwich and a forced family connection later and we’re into a seemingly overdone Verbinski third act. Ronning and Sandberg make their Pirates debut directing this bloated entry. They don’t do a bad job, as the action and pacing is quite nice. It’s just that this feels like two films too much in a film series that should’ve ended in 2007. But, it’s one of those things that always makes me wonder. Kinda like how there was a sizeable portion of readers that desperately wanted this review up on Thursday. It’s not that I hate the movie, it’s just that there’s no oomph to it. Who out there really feels the need to make Holiday Weekend plans to check this out? Did audiences really need to have resolution for Will Turner and Elizabeth Swann? Why didn’t the ending to Pirates 3 do that for you? Plus, it’s not like they got the happiest of endings here. Movies like this are why you can’t trust a modern audience with narrative. Too many whiners want to keep tacking on the feels.

FILM STATS

• PG-13
• 2 hrs and 9 mins
• Disney

RELEASE DATE: 5/26/17