A MODEST PROPOSAL (2016)

A MODEST PROPOSAL (2016) 1

Angry online factions are the riches of a studio’s PR department. What was once a dedicated division spending obscene amounts of money to put their wares before their digital world has now seen a paradigm shift. 24/7 media and the constant desire to be heard has allowed acolytes of a new age to volunteer their services. Just imagine all of the money being saved by SONY/Columbia/Sheinhardt Wig Company. All of that money saved because two groups of mouthy idiots felt it necessary to keep a tired movie retread in the hearts and minds of the Internet.

To single out one instance of this happening is too ignore the prolonged trend of these occurrences. Over the last four-five years, the Internet has engaged in a near constant battering of sexism accusations handled with the care of a HUAC hearing. While a handful of the accusations have bordered on truth, the majority are used as the new battering ram of the Neoliberal connected ideologue. The ideologue is the curious kind of fan, as they’ve developed into a near religious caste of opinionated folks. It’s not only enough to be right, but you have to live with a monk’s devotion to being that brand of right for the rest of your days. But, what about the others you meet in your daily life?

The Internet is a vast open world conspiracy of lowlifes, dirtbags, the high, the pious and the grand majority who just don’t care. The majority that doesn’t click ads, have favorite sites or even follows a set pattern in their electronic travels. What do they see is a never-ending barrage of vocal minorities yelling about everything. Political affiliations, the merits of fast food vs. organic whatever and beloved film properties. A certain subsect of the minority wants equality for most, while excluding overexposed groups. The other subsect of the minority wants a bit of tradition that slavishly services their wants.

The two collectives battle back and forth, while the rest of the world undertakes whatever the hell brought them to this on that given day. Maybe, they’d stop at Reddit. Well, they’re fighting over the best approach to beloved 80s film franchise. What started off as a fun bout of Today I Learned has turned into the usual quips and swipes. Head over to any of the Film Twitter hive sites and it’s the same thing. Co-opted think pieces mired in comments of mindless support or antagonism. Turn somewhere else and a link to someone’s shitty blog about said topic. Turn elsewhere and bombardments of new trailers and ads. What can the man/woman/transperson/Jenner/sentient machine/learned animal in the middle do to combat this?

When you find sites, organizations, newsgroups or whatever that engage in this behavior: shut it down. Whether they are conscious of it or not, it’s nothing more than viral marketing of the lowest common denominator. There was an era where a reader only had to fear pop-up ads and random emails from Nigerian royalty. Now, the time has come to beware of native advertising that believes itself to be legitimate content. The time when individuals give up their personality to carry the banner of corporate intellectual property. It’s a disgusting time and it’s only going to end when enough people reject it outright.

Ghostbusters, The Expendables, Untitled Woody Allen Project doesn’t concern you other than whether or whether not it works as a piece of entertainment. These are products made by an ever-shrinking multi-national corporation base. These aren’t your friends, your media representation or carefully crafted avatars that speak for you when the chips are down. It’s a job for talent that hopes to make something personal that you’re probably never going to see because it doesn’t play outside of the Top 10 markets. If your life hinges on whether or not Ghostbusters represents you, your childhood or anything of the sort…then pack it up. You’re finished.

If you are a website fostering this awful mentality, then you need to be called out. Turning entertainment into intense rivalries only encourages basic assholes to turn everything online into their toilet. Therefore let no man talk to me of other expedients: Of sharing concern for beloved film series, of taking absence of logic when discussing financial realities, of using neither common sense or experience to properly judge an issue. No man can set right in one’s mind what has gone wrong for ages before. Some readers will think this is about them, others will ask when I’m going to finish X review for whatever outlet. But, it’s not about that. This is my modest proposal regarding how when interact with the modern Internet.

  1. Stop thinking that every damn thing created or said is about you or your concerns.
  2. Realize when you’re being spoonfed sponsored bullshit and call it out.
  3. You are an individual. You like what you like, but don’t expect it to like you back.
  4. Your opinions aren’t valuable, but your actions have weight.
  5. If you don’t like something, don’t support it. There’s a neat thing called The Open Market and it’s a cornucopia of you-centric bullshit.

To the pious ideologues, I say:

icouldusedtonotcaring

To the common vulgar fans, I leave you with this. No one raped your childhood, but George Lucas didn’t use lube.

lucasjones

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