ANDERSONVISION QUICKLY COVERS MOVIES THAT YOU IGNORED: EARLY FALL 2016 EDITION

The Fall is packed full of Home Video, TV, Video Game and Movie releases. Naturally, I don’t have the time to give each product its page for coverage. In order to save time for Football and Halloween Candy eating, I’ve compiled the last couple of weeks of movies I saw and have people yelling at me to review. Let’s get started!

JACK REACHER: NEVER GO BACK

Jack Reacher returns in a sequel that doesn’t matter. There’s another vast military involved conspiracy and Reacher teams with Robin Sparkles to stop it. Meanwhile, Reacher might have a teenage daughter. What’s a dad to do when the MPs are coming to arrest you? Simple. You smash faces and shoot the bad guy. McQuarrie’s deft hand and Herzog’s villainous charms are missing sorely from this outing. Bail on this one hard.

THE WHOLE TRUTH

The Whole Truth is such a generic movie, but I love Keanu Reeves. Still, it’s nothing more than slamming “The Judge” and “Primal Fear” together. If that’s your jam, then you’re an elderly aunt that loves going to Target.

IN A VALLEY OF VIOLENCE

In A Valley of Violence is a stunning Western that makes me excited for what Blumhouse can do for this genre. These guys have put their stamp on modern American horror. Honestly, I’m thrilled to see earnest independent cinema values return to American cinema. Plus, John Travolta is slaying it in a Ti West movie. How is this possible?

BIRTH OF A NATION

Kyle Baker did the same take on Nat Turner, but far better. If this movie gets people to pick up the original Styron accounts and the later Baker adaptation, then more power to it. Still, it’s a weak directing effort that plays like a college student trying to be super serious on a topic. A forgettable movie that didn’t have the right to be this forgettable.

MIDDLE SCHOOL

James Patterson finds a way to emulate the Wimpy Kid movies. Naturally, it’s terrible to anyone that isn’t a 7-10 year old boy. Hard pass.

STORKS

Kid friendly movie that is brutally predictable given the talent behind the scenes. You’ve seen this movie before and done better.

DESIERTO

It’s like Jaws. Well, if Jeffrey Dean Morgan was the shark and he was hunting illegal aliens. Topical as hell, but the movie paints issues in giant broad strokes. That being said, it’s an enjoyable movie for all audiences.

OUIJA: ORIGIN OF EVIL

Ouija returns with a semi-sequel that plays like a mid 80s Italian horror movie. The gore is much better, as well as the modern Castle style takes on the ghosts. I have a weird thing about mouths and other holes being sewn shut, so that grossed me out. Still, high quality and surprising work all around.

KEEPING UP WITH THE JONESES

Keeping Up With The Joneses has an amazing cast and yet nothing happens. Everything from the advertising to the third act shifts presents a movie that was test marketed to death. While some scenes are meant to be funny, they’re just so watered down.

BOO! A MADEA HALLOWEEN

Boo! A Madea Halloween feels like a Halloween sitcom episode that is going on far too long. There are a ton of teens being disrepectful and Madea has to set them straight. Madea beats up frat boys and clowns, but something important is constantly brought up. The teen girls in Madea’s care constantly ask questions about her felonious past. Madea never directly answers, but I’m glad that people are calling the character’s past into question.