After: New Adult Fiction Fails as a Movie[Review]

After is a film about a young college coed smashing mad dong. While there is an entire industry dedicated to that kind of film, this is different. This one has C-list stars headlining a near indie release against the might of Little and the majesty of Hellboy. But, it’s about young people banging. Regardless of what Twitter tells you, America wants to see young people bang…and die.

What’s New Adult Fiction?

New Adult Fiction is what comes after Young Adult fiction fails to capture your attention. Devised by the ghosts of the long dead publishing industry, this is an attempt to keep 18-30 year olds reading books. While romance and cancer patients tend to make teens sit up and read, you need actual intercourse to get the college kids to stop vaping for a hot minute. After is gaining attention as the first mainstream film based on a Wattpad story. Wattpad is where people go to write when that November writing challenge isn’t a month. The bigger stories on there play like Tina Belcher’s Erotic Friend Fiction, but with more butt stuff. That means that the casual pervs out there shouldn’t expect any nudity at play. But, if you want to see hot consent on display…look no further. Same sex and opposite sex kissing and hook-ups throw down, as this play like a sheltered freshman girl’s vision of her first unsupervised weekend away from home. Ralph Fiennes’ nephew plays the target of her polite lust.

Why Exactly Did Readers Request This?

The level at which the film goes in order not to show oral sex or anything heavy is staggering. If you told me it was a basic cable movie that got the promotion to theatrical release, I’d believe it. There is nothing here that couldn’t be shown on deep cable on an average weekday night. So, what’s the harm in showing this 50 Shades of Beige? Not much. The target audience is already having coital throwdowns before seeing this film. The impressionable high schoolers going to see the film have either done worse or have the events penciled in before Prom. This brings back the fascinating chestnut that seems to permeate throughout 2019.

Who is After for?

After lacks the intimacy that the source novel readers craved. The film also lacks the punch that comes from a target audience expecting to see a new Dakota Johnson type learn S&M for Dummies. More than anything, After is the cinematic equivalent of a sad girl’s dreams of a better life. But even those dreams are permeated by obtainable goals for your average 17 year old. Also, all the parents are portrayed as dumb emotional cripples that can’t cope with their stellar kids. Olivia Jade the lead girl isn’t, but not everybody’s mom can be Aunt Becky. If you end up seeing this movie, either your partner is way too young for you or there’s a puppy in a van that you want this cute girl to see. Aviron has another winner on their hands! Reach for the stars, guys.