THE PLOT THUS FAR
Mutants make it big. Three films about Marvel’s team of Uncanny creations that run the gamut from Magneto vs. New York, Magneto vs. Washington vs. Stryker vs. Jean Grey and Dark Phoenix Grande.
WHAT WE THOUGHT
Comic book movies have a rather odd history. Richard Donner has directed the subgenres highest moment, while in any other genre it wouldve gone unnoticed. And, the subgenres low points are the fodder of which Mystery Science Theater 3000 are too afraid to touch. Comic books used to be treated by the Hollywood community as footnotes. That was until Avi Arad and Marvel Films lead a resurgence of quality comic book films. One of the first films released by Marvel Films was X-Men. A film long tied up in legal wrangling had become a viable option to prove that a big budget comic movie could do well in the summer.
The film X-Men was an intro into the world of mutants created by Stan Lee and Jack Kirby in 1963. We start by seeing the tragic origins of young Erik Magnus Lensherr aka Magneto. Were then carefully navigated from Nazi Germany, to rural Mississippi and then to Washington D.C.
In a series of short scenes, were introduced to the tumultuous world of mutantdom. After establishing the animosity between Magneto (Ian McKellan) and Professor Charles Xavier (Patrick Stewart), we continue to follow Rogue (Anna Paquin) as she leaves Mississippi for the frontier of Alaska. There in Alaska, she meets Wolverine (Hugh Jackman) as he participates in cage fight right out of a Cannon Films flick from 1986.
The cage fight ends, and were introduced to edgy Wolverine having to team up with pouty Rogue. The problem is while theyre bonding
Sabretooth (Tyler Mane) drops a tree on them. Within moments, the X-Men away team consisting of Cyclops and Storm (Halle Berry) pulls the two muties from danger.
The rest that follows is standard genre cliché. The villains have a scene to muse and plot their pending destruction of the status quo. The outside heroes are introduced to the larger group and are subject to their indoctrination. And, being that were working with a teenage girl
the boy of her dreams breaks her heart and then pushes her right into the villains trap.
A long time ago, I heard the theory that no one really cares what a critic thinks. Actually, it was phrased to me, Quit shitting on my movie, or Ill stab you in the scrotum with a letter opener. Needless to say, those words left an impression on me. People have a strong opinion when it comes to their popcorn movies. Hell, there was a segment about it on the 2004 Oscars regarding the average persons opinion on what constitutes the best film of the year. Somewhere in the line of thought falls X2. Its a summer blockbuster that attempts to drive a home message. But, the problem is
most people thought that the message was Wolverine has really big claws.
The film opens with the same spiel as the first flick. Mutants and humans are different. No shit, pal. I dont remember seeing a dude downtown getting pissed and turning the local busline into a solid sheet of ice. I honestly cant remember the last time I threw a fucker across the room telekinetically. All of that aside, the first twenty minutes of this flick is the melodramatic character development that plagues most genre flicks. Shit like I love you, but I cant fuck you because my dick is made of Kryptonite and Suck my fuckstick, I can give a human a Cleveland Steamer if I feel like it.
That meandering aside, were introduced to the situation at hand. Magneto (Ian McKellan) is still in his plastic cell, and a new enemy General Stryker (Brian Cox) is manipulating him in order to discover the truth behind Professor Xavier (Patrick Stewart) and his School for Gifted Youngsters. Getting the go-ahead from the President after a stealth attack from Nightcrawler (Alan Cummings), General Stryker leads a daring nighttime assault on a school made up of mutated nine year olds.
The problem is Wolverine (Hugh Jackman) has recently returned to the mansion and hes babysitting those nine year olds. And, this babysitter is pretty fucking drunk and angry. So, he does what all drunken babysitters do and he fights the paramilitary invaders. Wolverine just stabs the fuck out of them; I mean he fucking mutilates them. Then, he gets to meet General Stryker. They have a heart-to-heart moment where theyre seconds from making out, but Iceman (Shawn Ashmore) has to stop their homoerotic encounter.They steal a car and go on misadventures, while Mystique does her best to rescue Magneto.
Join well-known mutant heroes and villains, and meet a cadre of all-new warriors — including Angel, Beast, Juggernaut and Colossus — in this thrilling, explosive adventure! After a controversial “cure” is discovered, mutants can choose to retain their superhuman abilities or give up their unique gifts and become “normal.” When peaceful mutant leader Charles Xavier (Patrick Stewart) clashes with his militant counterpart, Magneto (Ian McKellen), the battle lines are drawn for the war to end all wars.
Bursting with nonstop action, spectacular special effects and exclusive extras, X-MEN THE LAST STAND is a force of nature that “will blow you away!”
“X-Men: The Last Stand” suffers on Blu-Ray by not having enough room to grow. They crammed a lot of bonus material and a two hour film into only twenty five gigs of space. The result is a crowded disc that doesn’t produce the results that a lot of buyers were looking to find. The tranfer feels flat, as a lot of dirt and print damage is exposed under the HD microscope. But, the color scheme isn’t overly saturated.
The DTS track is impressive, as we get a booming mix that only slightly overpowers the dialogue. The assault on Alcatraz hits all speakers with a 360 wave that makes this disc reference material for showing off what High Def Audio can do. There are other moments that sound extraordinary. Specifically, the death of Professor X and Juggernaut chasing Kitty Pryde. This is a disc to let friends listen but not watch.
The Blu-Ray Trilogy is an amazing collection of discs. The A/V Quality is second to none. Hell, the redone disc for X3 blows away the first-gen Blu-Ray disc. The full use of the 50 gigs of space shows off what the next-gen formats can do. Plus, FOX is getting better at using BD-Java for its pop-up special features and games.
The new features included run the gamut from digital copies to pop-up animatic tracks. Sure, the majority of features included are ports from the previous DVD releases. What matters is that we finally have the films in versions that matter. Great releases matched by great efforts. The A/V on the first two films are reference quality with the Deathstrike vs. Wolverine fight being home demo material. But, the third movie is still plagued by High-Def showing off iffy CG. Take a look at the first Danger Room exercise as an example. Still, I’d recommend the release as a blind buy.
RELEASE DATE: OUT NOW!
