Director: Adam Shankman
Writers: Justin Theroux, Chris D’Arienzo and Allan Loeb
Cast: Tom Cruise, Julianne Hough, Diego Boneta, Mary J. Blige, Alec Baldwin, Russell Brand, Paul Giamatti, Malin Akerman and Catherine Zeta-Jones
Studio: Warner Brothers
Sherrie travels to Hollywood to make it big and ends up running into Drew who helps her get a job were he works through Dennis. The place they work at host big rock and roll shows. Stacee Jaxx is set to play there as his career is not looking so good. Patricia, the Mayor’s wife, is trying to stop the rock and roll scene.
What little fun there is in the movie is thanks to Cruise, Baldwin and Russell Brand, who plays Baldin’s sidekick and confidant. Cruise jumps into the Jaxx role with both feet and seems to understand that a parody should be fun. Being a rock idol isn’t far removed from being the biggest movie star on the planet, so Cruise blends Axl Rose and Bret Michaels to create Jaxx … throw in a pet baboon, two He-men bodyguards, an endless train of groupies, and a dragon codpiece … and you get Stacee Jaxx, legendary rock star.
If one is going to make a rock ‘n roll movie, it either needs to be played straight or as a head-on parody. What it can’t do is celebrate the dead zone of lameness: lame music covered by lame singers playing lame characters. No amount of star power actors can overcome material that doesn’t capture the power and passion of the music. And we aren’t even talking real rock n roll here … this is glam rock, stadium rock, big hair bands. Yet, the movie still falls incredibly short of making a statement or providing insight or even entertainment.
“Rock of Ages” is a mess that barely resembles the famous stageshow. However, you get to see a bunch of celebs make an ass out of themselves under the direction of hack Adam Shankman. Sometimes, choreographers should stay choreographers. While I say that and remember the heyday of Hollywood where Fosse and other talent made the jump, it’s just not the same thing. If you want half-assed camp, then that is here. Otherwise, you’ve got nothing.
RELEASE DATE: 06/15/2012
