Latest in: PORFLE!

  • PORFLE IS: “ON HER MAJESTY’S STUPID SERVICE”

    Giddy as a schoolgirl over having just been promoted to the “Double-O” division of British Intelligence–due in part to the fact that my uncle was the Prime Minister and I blackmailed him with some photos I’d snapped of him having sex with Benny Hill’s sister–I giggled with delight and...
  • PORFLE’S POETRY CORNER STRIKES BACK!!!

    WHY?by porfle Why do people have to talk?I wish they’d just shut up.Why do people have to walk?They all should be tied up. People should be painted green, and thrown into a mudholePeople should be sight unseen, and wrapped around a maypole. Why do people look at me?I wish...
  • PORFLE PRESENTS: “THE VIN DIESEL HOLIDAY SPECIAL”

    In joyous celebration of this wonderful season, join us now for a classic television treasure from the Hallowed Hall of Fictitious TV Favorites…The Vin Diesel Holiday Special! (FADE-IN to a stage ornately trimmed with Christmas decorations.  Festive Christmas music wafts through the studio.) ANNOUNCER: (brightly) Pour yourself some egg...
  • PORFLE’S “HOLLYWOOD BABBLE-ON”

    When you come right down to it, there’s nothing in this whole wide world that’s more fun and entertaining than looking back at the magic that is Old Hollywood.  And if you disagree with that, then you’re just plain stupid!  So let’s turn back the clock and revisit the...
  • PORFLE PRESENTS: “THE BUZZ ALDRIN THANKSGIVING DISASTER”

    Whenever I think of Thanksgiving, I can’t help but recall the time astronaut Edwin “Buzz” Aldrin had Thanksgiving dinner with me and my family.  (He didn’t really, but that doesn’t affect the story all that much so don’t worry about it.)  We were all getting ready to sit down...
  • PORFLE’S OBSCURE MOVIE FACTS!

    Ah, Hollywood…that most mysterious of places.  Its dark secrets are legendary, its mysteries deep and often disturbing.  Even its fruitily fraudulent and fictitious fables of fantastic fickle fate are frankly fascinating when foisted as fact.  Here, then, are some of Hollywood’s most tantalizing tales, titillatingly touted as truth, yet...
  • PORFLE PRESENTS: “A HALLOWEEN STORY”

    The reason that I can’t stand Halloween anymore doesn’t have anything to do with any religious or moral objection to ghosts and goblins and stuff.  I love monsters and horror and old Britney Spears videos just as much as the next person.  No, what turned me against Halloween was...
  • PORFLE PRESENTS: MY “BONANZA” FANFIC

    HE WALKS IN BEAUTY LIKE THE NIGHTA “Bonanza” Adventure (DISCLAIMER: Not associated with the official “Bonanza” TV show or any of the people who made it or were in it or anything.)_______________________________________ One day, the members of the Cartwright clan–brothers Hoss, Adam, and Little Joe, and father, Ben–were sitting...
  • PORFLE’S POETRY CORNER: “LARD COMMAND”

    LARD COMMANDby porfleLard makes us happy, I don’t understand An army that doesn’t have Lard Command. Lard is our comfort, a guiding hand Surely we’re lost without Lard Command. Take out our organs, but don’t put them back Fill in the holes with the lard that we lack. Gather...

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