TROY REVIEWS A BUNCH OF FILM HE PUT OFF FOR THE LAST FEW WEEKS
IT got people excited for horror. By the time you read this, the film will have surpassed “The Exorcist” as the highest grossing horror film in American history. 2017 started this trend off right with the horror-tinged Sci-Fi suspense of Get Out. By the way, I’ve got an immense piece about the film towards the end of the year. It’s just that some people will always try to find a way to explain why America and the World gets obsessed with horror at key times.
None of those apply. IT is a nostalgia film that can get updated for any period that purchase power laden adults can pine to see onscreen and across their preferred media devices. The young actors are almost incidental to a desire just to see a facade that reminds you of 1989. You’ve seen this before, you’ve read the book and now you get to see it prepared for a new generation to falsely ape for a time that would’ve bored them to tears.
I still enjoy the film. It’s the better King adaptation this year. Gerald’s Game went a little too small in concept for me to make it the best adaptation, but it’s a close second. I can’t wait to see what they do next in 2019. By the end, a complete IT experience might make the film a little more enjoyable for me.
The best part of “Mother!” for me was the old as shit guy leaving about an hour. He screamed his disgust to the seated audience like he was trying to upstage Aronofsky. Dude, Darren Aronofsky got an ass-to-ass scene etched into the modern cinema landscape. People who don’t understand this movie will never have that kind of power or mental fortitude to upstage Aronofsky. Is he schtupping Jennifer Lawrence? The man made “Pi”. If that’s not a panty-dropping movie, then I don’t know what counts.
What makes this film succeed? Well, the fact that Paramount greenlit a horrific look at the power of creation is pretty amazing. Slightly faster readers will opine about the Biblical implications and what have you. Well, the Bible is the first literature about primal energy and the desire to tinker. The symbolism was always going to be there.
The film succeeds in Bardem’s utter disdain for the people sharing his world. A creator thinks nothing of old drafts and pencil shavings. Why should he care for the abandoned ideas that can whine and plead with him?
Kingsman: The Golden Circle
Country Roads continues to get mined for more mileage in a year where better music is needed. While I enjoy Mark Strong’s contributions to the film, he can’t make up for a film series in search of a purpose. If this does turn out to be the last Eggsy film, then I’m fully on-board. Rotate the leads, but keep the same world. I like Bond knock-offs R-rated.
The LEGO Ninjago Movie
Warner Brothers continues to mine the last ounce of kid appeal from the LEGO movies. What Lord and Miller did a few years ago has been brutally sacrificed at the altar of easy commerce. Lego Batman had a bigger mythos and ties to the first film to cash-in on. This feels like a TV Pilot in search of a purpose. It’s super weird how that line of thought keeps returning.
Brad’s Status is about Ben Stiller playing a middle-aged white man that learns to appreciate the little things. His life is nothing but little things and the movie indulges his garbage anxieties over every little thing. I expected better from Mike White, but so did most people post “Chuck & Buck”.
Stronger is testing my love for Boston. Jake Gyllenhaal stars in a film that wants to be Oscar Gold, but will settle for honorable mention at the Golden Globes. At this point, the fire hydrants at the Boston Marathon bombing are having their story told to the world. Pass on it, except for the amazing performances from Lenny Clark and Tatiana Orphan Black. I can’t remember her last name and the movie didn’t inspire the brain power involved in basic research.
Columbus is what stupid people think of when they hear independent film. John Cho seems like the kind of talent that could’ve turned the film around, but it doesn’t happen. Get ready for a little under 2 hours of navel gazing.
RELEASE DATES: All films came out in September
The Plot Thus Far
Clowns, secret agents and Ben Stiller are all in movies that Troy put off covering. Why? Well, as you grow older…time becomes more of a commodity. While I’d like to hit everything in the timely fashion of earlier years, there’s just other things vying for my attention.
If you still don’t understand, ask a trusted grown-up to explain it to you.
Troy Anderson is the Owner/Editor-in-Chief of AndersonVision. He uses a crack team of unknown heroes to bring you the latest and greatest in Entertainment News.